


Giving Up

by cammonine



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Frisk just wants their friends to be happy, Implied/Referenced Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 00:52:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17172734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cammonine/pseuds/cammonine
Summary: You can't take it anymore. You can't reset again, after what felt like the millionth time. Maybe... maybe the world would be better off without you? Yes, you decide. I'll just delete myself out of existence, and the monsters will stop suffering. Unfortunately, a being erased out of time disagrees with you.





	1. Chapter 1

You stopped counting after the hundredth reset. It didn't matter who you spared. It didn't matter who you murdered. All that you thought that mattered didn't, you concluded.

You pondered in a little void littered with yellow letters. You recalled all the memories you made and eagerly shared with the monsters. You remembered every happy moment, every genuine snort, every monster that had gazed on you warmly. You remembered every scream, every hollow chuckle, every tear-stricken face. As you called upon your farthest memory, the memory of golden flowers and broken bones, you could feel the first time you ever woke up in the Underground. You could remember the confusion that had poured through you as you shakily stood up and went into the next room only to be greeted with a talking flower. After every reset, you gradually grew less confused. Gradually more stoic. Gradually more heartless.

One day, you recall, one day you could finally repeat every event. You could take any line from Sans, or Undyne, or Asgore and describe it perfectly, chock full of details. You knew that it was wrong. It was _wrong_ you could remember every timeline. It was wrong you could manipulate your friends like puppets on strings.

You knew you were the one who disoriented time.

After a while, you tried to stop the resets. You tried to pour your determination to fight the effects, but even your will to live and continue wasn't enough for it to halt. Whenever an involuntary reset occurred, you felt yourself become drowsy, and you would fall into a dreamless sleep no matter where you were. The next time you blinked awake, you were nesting on a pile of golden flowers, skin heavily bruised and blood leaking from your nose. You have never been able to stop the resets.

You closed your eyes, the yellow symbols melting from view. Those memories washed over you like a tide of honey, sweet and sticky. Your determination flickered and you couldn't help but notice how infrequent it was recently. Your determination was fleeting, so much so that even your friends- _could they be considered your friends anymore?_ -started noticing. Sans and Flowey, especially.

Flowey appeared indifferent, but you could tell. You could always tell. He stopped identifying you as Frisk when Asriel was finally free. He could only envision you as "Chara" now, unable to see the difference between you and them. It made your insides coil. He couldn't see the difference between a living child and a dead one, or now simply saw too many correlations between you and Chara.

Sans, surprisingly, had been more optimistic.

_"You shouldn't give up, kid," Sans said as he chugged down some ketchup. He gave you a reassuring pat. "One day we'll find out how to stop the resets. I feel it in my bones."_

But you didn't. You couldn't take it anymore. You loathed the monotony, the endless strive for freedom that was always within grasp. Somehow, you knew you could never have it.

 _However_... the monsters could.

You opened your eyes to the abyss. Two options appeared in front of you in the form of golden boxes.

 **Continue** or **Delete**

Your heart rate quickened and your soul pulsed. Both options were tempting. You felt a mash of unease and nausea trickle from your stomach to your throat, congealing into a lump that made it difficult to breathe. You sniffed, rubbing your arm over your eyes. You hesitantly reached forward and grazed the **Delete** option. Memories drilled into your soul again, and you felt your resolve waver.

What if you were wrong? What if everyone wouldn't be better off without your existence? What if- what if it made things _worse_?

You had already spent too long pondering on this, though. You couldn't stop now. You steeled yourself and, in one simple motion, pressed the button.

Stars and galaxies surrounded you, destroying the darkness. It tugged at your soul from all directions. You screamed as agony spread like wildfire into every nick and cranny in your body. You could feel your mind spiral, spiral into oblivion. Your last thought-

_It has to be better this way._

* * *

"I honestly didn't expect you to be here."

A voice tarnished the darkness. You stirred and groaned at the blooming headache rattling in your skull. You reached a hand to touch your forehead, but it passed through your head and felt a less than pleasant sensation mix with your ache. You cracked your eyes open to a blurry world made mostly of black and white. You were gazing at a blank, concave ceiling that seemed to be dripping with an unknown substance. The floor under your palms was slick but held some rough patches. You were puzzled. Weren't you supposed to be erased from existence?

"Hello? Can you even hear me?"

A slimy hand poked your arm. You flinched and shuffled away from the voice. A strange monochrome figure lurched above you, a cracked grin spread across its melting features. Its body was a velvet black, excluding its hands and face. Its features were oddly segmented in a way that reminded you of a broken skeleton. A tingle of familiarity trailed down your spine.

The creature tilted its head and an amused chuckle echoed out. "Guess you're real then. I was a bit worried there, kiddo. You alright?"

You shivered and sat up, your hand traveling back to your side. The world was gradually becoming clearer and you could make out the finer details of the space you were in. The rough patches on the floor were, in fact, composed of a white powdery substance that you were all too familiar with. Grooves ran along the sides of the abyss and they seemed to be pumping some sort of red glowing liquid, though you couldn't really tell from the distance. The crimson and the dust reminded you of something.

Your soul.

You reached for it, mind outstretched, beckoning it to pulse. You were met with radio silence and a hollow feeling concentrated in your chest. You could sense your soul somewhere, but the sensations were in fragments, as if your soul had shattered. You knew how it felt to have your soul torn apart. You recalled bullets, flames, blasters,  _ knives _ . Their pressures were different, unique, but almost always fatal.

You hated combat. You loathed fighting with a passion. Your soul would always hover on that option first, and if you weren't careful enough, you would...

It was only when the figure whispered to you that you realized your vision had grown narrow and you were clawing at your chest that simply  _ wasn't there _ . Your arms dropped and you forced yourself to concentrate on him. They had holes in them, you noticed, and you slowly realigned yourself with your apparent reality.

The creature crooned. "Kid, kid. Focus on me- how many fingers am I holding?"

"T-three," you mumbled.

It let out a small sigh. "You're back?" You nodded wordlessly.

"That's good, that's good..." it muttered a bit under its breath as you stared bleakly at it. Your soul still crackled numbly in the corners of the universe, but you could maintain focus in the tiny realm you were in. Your hands clutched at the ground below you. You both sat in silence, the being on its haunches, staring at you from the side.

It took a while before you spoke up. "Who're you?"

A white pupil focused on you. "Me? Who am I?" It raised its hand to its mouth and seemed to ponder on the subject. "Hm... welp, I don't know. Sorry to disappoint you. Mind's a bit foggy and all." You frowned lightly. You faintly recognized its speech pattern. You wracked your brain until you cobbled together a conclusion.

"... Sans?"

It chuckled. "Nope! Nice guess, though. He and I knew each other once. Cool guy, I must say. He still makes a skele _ ton _ of puns, doesn't he?" It grinned.

The tension in your shoulders melted slightly. A smile crossed your face, but it was hollow. The creature's grin faltered.

"What... what about Papyrus? Is he okay?" You perked a smidgeon and began to speak slowly.

The figure really enjoyed talking, you noticed. It appeared to know a lot about the monsters in the Underground, from Undyne to Flowey. It kept babbling in a stream, and you attempted to answer each question. Confusion and agony still wracked your body, but it was slowly unraveling as word after word slipped out of your mouth, though a bitter coil slipped on the tip of your tongue. You kept nodding and answering until one question made your mind stumble to a halt.

"How're you doing now, kid?"

You glanced to your right and replied: "Fine." It was flat in your lungs.

The creature straightened its hunch and its grin vanished. Both of its eyes glowed marginally. "It's not good to lie to yourself, you know." You stared up at it levelly, your crimson eyes barely blinking. It wavered, a pensive frown crossing its lips.

It sighed and loosened its posture. "I apologize. I suppose I've been nostalgic a bit too long. It's just... been a long time..." It hesitated.

"Kid," it began softly. "I know how you ended here. It's the only way a human can end in this place." The creature gestured at the surroundings. "Why did you do it?"

You didn't answer. You tilted your head slightly away from it, averting your gaze. It remained stock still like a photograph. Like the one you would receive if you escaped with the monsters. A brick cemented itself in your throat and you pursed your lips. Silence fogged the area.

"You're not the first kid to have deleted themselves," it said after a while. "There was once another child, about your height and stature. Real determined, spitting image of humanity." It snorted. "Hated themselves, of course. Hated everything now that I think about it. They were really desperate to escape from something, so they deleted themselves and joined little ol' me."

You glanced at it through your hazel bangs. "Wh-what was their name?"

The being scrunched up its face. It left hideous cracks and grooves on its features. "Ah... I can't remember names all too well. Something starting with a 'K'?" You didn't know who it could be referencing to. "Doesn't matter. Point is, they went and ended themselves to escape the resets they were stuck in."

You froze at the mention. Its expression turned grim.

"I'm guessing resets, right?" A small nod was its answer. "Thought so." The figure's posture softened, its pupils widening. "How many times have you reset?"

"Too many times," was your reply.

It clicked its tongue. "Oh. The other one only went through 16 resets..."

You shifted your weight to the side, your legs crossing sideways in one direction. "I went through more than that."

"You must have given up early," it concluded. The being paused. "Can you remember a time where your determination dropped?"

You gripped the floor tightly, your thumb grazing through your side and onto the dusty plane underneath. You honestly didn't want to think about it, but your mind threw a vision of hand pressing a button laced with fine powder. Glass poured yellow stained light into a grim hall, contrasting sharply with a blue coat and a flashing eye. An old man laughed at your blank expression and empty threats, a knowing look glinting in his eyes. A broken child with missing arms stood frozen on a bridge. A flower smirking in interest and the hollow appearance of your soul. A mother asked 'why'. You fell down. You died.

You shuddered as the images flashed through your mind's eye, your face mirroring your thoughts.

The creature chuckled lowly. "You even have the same motive as them, don't you?" It snapped you out of the barrage and you gave it a confused look. The figure shifted back, shaking its head. "Nothing, nothing. You gonna answer my question?"

You wavered. "It was when I..." You swallowed. "I realized how pointless it all is. Was."

A small smile slipped on its distorted features. "Nothing's pointless, kid. There's a reason for everything."

"Including me?"

"You're a hero, Frisk. The Underground needs you to be filled with determination. You need to be yourself. Don't let any sort of urge get you enamored. You need to believe that you can save them before you can save them. You need to believe that you have chosen the correct timeline before you can go forward with that timeline." You straightened your back. How did it know your name-?

"Kid." The being smiled. "You've saved them so many times before... can you do it one more time?"

"I..."

You wanted to. You desperately wanted to. You wanted to save the monsters, save your friends. They deserved to be free from it all.

"I do," you answered simply.

In a flash, a cyan and orange mishmash of your soul appeared in front of you. It appeared to be held together using thin strands. You glanced at the figure and saw that its eyes were flickering in the same colors.

"Just stay determined, Frisk. Walk not the middle road."

Suddenly, the world turned white, and everything faded into a misty light.

* * *

 

You were sleeping on the golden flowers again.

You meet Flowey and greet him cheerfully. He stares at you condescendingly.

_ You will save him. _

* * *

 

Toriel protects you and tries to make you stay in her house.

You leave, but don't forget to call her mom. She beamed at you.

_ You will save her. _

* * *

 

You meet Sans and shake his hand. A loud fart noise erupted and you burst into a fit of giggles.

Sans looked elated that you were so amused by his antics.

_ You will save him. _

* * *

 

You meet Papyrus and solve all of his puzzles.

He looks at you cheerily and offers you some pasta. You smile.

_ You will save him. _

* * *

 

A flash and blur of colors surround you. Undyne, Alphys, Asgore, Mettaton. You wanted to save them all.

The human souls hover around you closer as you all stare at Omega Flowey cackling at you.

Determination filled you to the core.

_ You will save them. _

* * *

A flash and blur of colors surround you. Undyne, Alphys, Asgore, Mettaton. You wanted to save them all.

The human souls hover around you closer as you all stare at Omega Flowey cackling at you.

Determination filled you to the core.

_ You will save them. _

* * *

 

The barrier is broken. All the monsters are freed. You are happy as you are surrounded by your friends, your family. Everyone was smiling, cheering, laughing, patting you on the back.

As you went to bed, you felt yourself smile.

As you fell asleep, you knew that only good dreams would surround you tonight.

_ You saved them. _

 


	2. True Ending

You woke up on a bed of golden flowers.

Your hand reaches up to brush away the burning from your eyes, and a sob ripped out of your throat. Everything hurt from the bruises on your knuckles to the broken toes caught in between some fallen rocks.

_Your determination wasn't enough._

**Author's Note:**

> Heyy, Cammo here. This is my first time posting on this site, so it'll be a bit wonky. I'm posting this fanfic from another site, so yea.


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